on being impeccable with your words
experimenting & minding your language
Before I dive in today, I’d love to remind you, especially if you’re local to Clitheroe, Lancs, (or you know anyone in the area who might be interested) that I have some in-person events happening this week and next!
💫 Women’s Circle ~ Thursday 23rd 7-9pm ~ Grindleton ~ tickets are here
💫 Vision Board Workshop ~ Wednesday 29th 1-4pm ~ Accrington ~ tickets are here
Hello you,
Have you heard of The Four Agreements1? I hadn’t come across them until recently, in passing. When they showed up again yesterday I knew it was time to take notice.
Because one of the agreements in particular spoke to me:
Be impeccable with your word.
It really struck a chord. I know I can waffle, I can be impulsive and I don’t always get my tone or my words right. I don’t always know what I’m going to say and it’s not unusual that I interrupt, make an idiot of myself or say something I immediately want to retract. It feels like the shadow of my undefined throat centre - feeling under pressure to speak, seeking attention & blurting words out without filter - and my instinctive reaction when I notice this is to want to control it or wish for it to be different.
Instead I’ve been leaning into that shadow with curiosity and intrigue...
“Hey, you’re bringing me a message, what are you telling me? Where could I find a gift in this? What’s next for me to evolve?”
I got to noticing where it’s coming from - here’s where I love having this handy map to search for clues and next steps - then asking myself the same questions I’d be asking a client.
💫 what benefit or protection am I getting from this shadow? And how is it holding me back or not serving me?
💫 what beliefs would I need to release to change this behaviour?
💫 how would I like to be instead?
And also:
💫 how can I actually make that happen, and embed the new behaviour?
You’ll forgive me for not sharing all my journalling on this, but you can imagine the overall theme of it, ending with “instead of blurting out and leaping in, I’d like to be intentional, supportive and powerful with my voice… hmm, yes how CAN I actually make that happen?”
Well, to start with, through a human design lens, the undefined (white) throat (third centre/chakra down) is designed to be silent2 unless it’s speaking in response (generator) or by invitation (projector) and so for me, as a generator, I know the way I can use my voice with more power and intention is to be silent, until there is something external of me that my sacral is pulled to respond to. When aligned in this way, those with undefined throats will sense what isn’t being said in a room, and have deep wisdom to share at the right time.
The more I learn, the more obsessed I am with the throat centre and its power, regardless of how it looks on each chart; after all it’s the place we all manifest from, making things happen in the world. And so a healthy throat feels like an obvious place to start for anyone who wants to make things happen in the world! Fun fact, thyroid problems are common for anyone (including me) who’s not using been their throat centre/chakra in an aligned way.
But the thoughtful, observing silence that’s ’correct’ for me isn’t what’s valued in our society though - as kids in school we’re encouraged to speak up, worried over when we’re quiet, labelled as shy and generally conditioned to be different or feel less-than…
So it’s not been easy but I trust the process and I trust my chart; I’m all in. And I can tell you it’s been a valuable experiment3. There’s less pressure to ‘perform’ or fill any silences. It feels more peaceful. I notice how the few words I do offer land powerfully, people reflecting back that was “exactly what I needed to hear”… Yes!
If you want in on this part of the experiment, check your chart just here and DM me, I’ll let you know the nuance of how it would work for you, depending on your Type and how your throat is defined!
So that’s been one part of it.
The other part of it… is words… they’re tricky things aren’t they? Small in the scheme of things, not always obvious, yet no less powerful for their miniature-ness.
They’re easier to wrangle whilst typing. The delete button is always available, the cursor ever-hovering, judging and filtering as the slower, more careful editing process takes place.
Out loud though? Pffff.
It’s ironic coincidental making complete sense, given how the universe works, that I was talking about the power of words only last week. I had the pleasure of sharing my favourite imposter-syndrome-busting tips with a group of leaders; tip number 8 was WORDS.
And this phrase ‘be impeccable with your words’ really sums it up.
We talked about the kinds of words that we inadvertently beat ourselves, and others, up with. The ones that slip out, almost unnoticed, except we do notice them deep down as they nibble away quietly on the self-worth we desperately scrabble to keep hold of.
I’m just…
She has a little business…
It’s only…
I’m rubbish at…
Sorry…
Oh that last one.
Sorry for getting in your way (even though you actually got in mine).
Sorry for making you feel like that (even though how you feel is your responsibility)
Sorry you didn’t like something I said (even though I really meant it)
Sorry I showed some emotion or other (even though I have every right to have emotions and they are not your responsibility)
We talked about how it feels to delete or swap these words. To edit as we talk. There was a feeling of lightness as we tested sentences without playing it down with ‘just’ or ‘only’, a sense of empowerment as we replaced ‘sorry’ with ‘thank you’.
We talked about using words in a broader sense to be kind to ourselves and others; do we judge, gossip, assume? Do we repeat our limiting beliefs over and over even as we try to let them go?
And we talked about holding each other accountable, calling each other out (gently!) when we hear these words not-so-silently chipping away.
In short, we talked about being impeccable with our word
Perhaps you’d like to join the conversation in the comments or by pressing reply? And so I wonder, what words could you use to delete or reduce? And who holds you accountable?
And as always, please do reach out, by DM or on a free call, if you would like to be deeply supported on your journey, either through the map of human design or simply with some nurturing self-belief work. I’ve got you.
Sending love,
Sarah xx
Hey I’m Sarah, qualified coach, certified human design coach and creative introvert. I guide women during times of change, helping them to build a strong foundation self-belief and giving them full permission to be exactly who they’re designed to be, living and working with ease and flow.
If this sounds like you, I’m inviting you to free virtual brew with me to talk about what our journey together might look like. We can work with or without the map of human design.
The Four Agreements are - be impeccable with your word - don’t take anything personally - don’t make assumptions - always do your best. https://www.miguelruiz.com/the-four-agreements
Manifestors and Man-Gens always have a defined throat, which is designed to speak, controlled only by the other centres it’s attached to.
Human Design is one long experiment, dipping into one area at a time and asking “I wonder what would happen if this part of me were aligned next?”
I love that this came up for you… and it solidifies a message for me as well! I recently came across The Four Agreements on my bookshelf (after oh so many years) and I put it on my desk to “get to”. I had t gotten to it and now I think I need to 🙂
Thank you for sharing such a personal and interesting topic. I am new to human design and curious. My lens comes from a yogic and astrological perspective. I wrote a post last year about finding my voice. I loved to chat and talk, but vulnerable to share my true self. It wasn’t valued in the past and I was shut down. Over time, I gained confidence and courage to speak from my heart. To slow down and consider what I am saying with my words. To edit my words or apologize when they didn’t hit their mark. My son is autistic and struggles with tone and word choice. It irritates people that don’t understand his beautiful brain. I am more patient with people because of my experience with him. I try to listen instead of judging each word. Thanks for the insight. 😊