why I’m tip-toeing this week
on protective wolves & imposter syndrome and how we can sneak past them to get to where we want after all
Hey, I’m Sarah, northern soul & creative midlife introvert. I help women to find, love and trust themselves using the practical magic of human design and backed up by my gently-fierce coaching & accountability.
You’ll find encouragement and resources at
where you can enjoy all things self-belief, seasonal energy and of course, human design, including my new Human Design Resource Library and the Who Do You Think You Are? podcast too.Hello you,
I woke early today. Turning over at 5:15 only to find it was lighter than usual, the overnight breeze blowing the curtains apart, and the extra slice of daylight pulling my mind awake before my body was ready.
Hubby had an early alarm set - London train - so 20 minutes later we were both up, making coffee, feeding cats, feeling the slight shakiness of being vertical before you’re quite ready.
As he headed off to the station, the desire to crawl back under that warm duvet was overwhelming. Why am I not there now?
Other people.
You, for one. This space that we share, you and I, is one I value deeply. Early on Tuesday mornings is when I write to you, offering whatever comes up that day and trusting it’s what you need this week.
And mostly what’s coming up for me today the last couple of weeks is imposter syndrome.
“What?” I hear you ask “but Sarah you literally coach people out of their self doubt, how on earth is imposter syndrome coming up for you of all people?”
I know right? The irony. Even more ironic is how I’m hosting a workshop today for a group of leaders on how to deal with imposter syndrome - yes, I know. I’m laughing to myself even as the butterflies stomp across my tummy in their hobnail boots and I feel slightly sick. I’m holding the knowledge that I’m entirely competent in this work alongside the wide-eyed terror of 12-year-old me quaking inside at how BIG it feels.
And here’s the thing.
Things that are new, that feel big, important, expansive, can bring with them this fear. The unexpected discomfort of getting exactly what you wanted, what you asked for, put yourself forward for. The glee and excitement replaced by doubt and regret; “what on earth have I let myself in for?”
The size of the doubt, of the impostery feelings, will depend on the bigness of the new thing, on how safe you’ve felt in life so far, on how solid your self-trust and self-esteem are at the time. It feels like there might be a formula I could write out to calculate it accurately, but I also know we don’t need that to know how it feels.
And I know I’m deliberately putting myself in the way of new things this year. My self-trust is higher than it’s ever been (yes, the human design) and I’m getting to know myself in deeper way than I thought possible (I’ll tell you next week about an Akashic reading I had recently…) which all means I’m feeling ready to take big steps with my work again. I’m networking differently, having conversations about coaching work (and rates!) that make me very nervous excited nervous and attracting invitations to host workshops and speak at events. The energy of it has felt wonderful and yet…
… maybe you’ve noticed and maybe you haven’t. I’ve been quiet the last couple of weeks. I’ve felt the paralysis of doubt creeping over me. I know exactly what it is; the protective response of self-doubt, trying to keep me safe from harm, slowing me down and encouraging me to get my head below the parapet in case someone sees me. And for me this protector has a wolf-like energy, I can almost feel her hackles up in front of me as she places herself firmly between me and any danger.
So I have three options now:
Hide. My wolf is right, I’m not up to facing this, who do I think I am anyway?
Fight it! Go out all guns blazing! To hell with comfort zones! Step aside wolf! And I’ll just hope my nervous system doesn’t shut down completely (except it definitely will)
Work with her gently… take small steps to avoid the high-alert, let her remain asleep, look after my nervous system, use the tools in my toolkit, talk about it, share it, shine the light on the doubt and let it fade away.
Of course, all are open to me, but I’ve spent far too many years in option 1. I’ve tried option 2 and it doesn’t suit me one little bit. And so for me, it’s the gentle approach, the one I offer to clients. It really does feel like tip-toeing past your sleeping wolf of self-doubt; she will wake to protect you if she has to… but really you’ve got this and she can rest until there’s some real danger.
How do we do this?
✨ be curious, don’t take your thoughts at face value… is it really true that you can’t [insert your next step here], or is that an automatic reaction?
✨ be you, don’t compare your journey to someone else’s, you never know where they’ve been already or what support or experience they have
✨ be playful, keep it light and easy, an experimental energy makes it easier to keep the wolf settled and dozing
What are you favourite ways of moving forward when it feels a bit scary, or the nervous butterflies are a bit too much? I’d love to hear ❤️
And as always, please do reach out, by DM or on a free call, if you would like to be deeply supported on your journey, either through the map of human design or simply with some nurturing self-belief work. I’ve got you.
Sending love & sunshine!
Sarah xx
“Before working with Sarah I felt unsure about whether and how to pursue my work goals; I was worried about whether my ideas would be deemed silly, rejected or criticised and so sat with them and did nothing…
It was great to have someone help me to see how deeply my self-doubt holds me back, how I have been stuck unable to pursue my goals out of fear of rejection.
But now, I can see where self-doubt is showing up and the biggest change I’ve noticed is an attitude of ‘just do it’ – less over-thinking, more action – and now I have the promotion I wanted!”
Julie Davis
Lovely read, Sarah. Thanks for sharing your thoughts 😊