uncovering the whole of me…
how looking at the centres in your human design chart can explain A LOT, in a really good way
It’s April 2014. I’m working in a role that’s sucking the life out of me. I have zero confidence. I’m a single mum who cannot imagine ever successfully applying for a different job anywhere else and I feel downright stuck. I have no team, no social life and, aside from my little boy, I’m lonely.
And then, a magical thing happens and I hook up with an absolute dream-boat of a guy*. Someone I’ve known a long time and who feels safe (a definite priority when you’re raising small people alone), someone who’s funny and clever and I’m so happy!
*there’s a magical work/career part to this too, which I’ve shared before and will share again ;)
So there we are, all loved up and spending all our time together, as people do when they’ve just gotten together. Aaahhhh…
I even felt a bit more confident for a while, with that little spring in my step you get, you know.
But then I started to find there wasn’t quite room for me. I was losing myself again.
He’s a big character. Lovely mind you, but big. Everyone notices him, everyone hears him; well, with that deep booming voice you can’t help but hear him. And he’s well traveled, always has great stories, makes people laugh.
I’m the quiet one. Not inside. I’m shouting inside. But my voice is quiet. It’s not enough to cut into the conversations with friends and family. My own parents lament when I dare to show up alone at their home “oh… but where is he?”
Occasionally I try to describe how I feel, mostly to friends, once to him. I do it like this, every time.
“It’s like THIS is me…” I wave my left hand around, low down, in a small circle.
"And THIS is him…” I wave my right hand in a big oval, eclipsing my left hand entirely.
And I feel a bit sad.
Is this it? Is this how it’s going to be now?
Come with me now as I gently fast forward a few years, during which I:
leave that draining job
get married (yep, same guy!)
build a house (u-huh, the one I’m now selling)
complete a lot of actual coaching training (don’t get me started on untrained ‘coaches’ and the unregulated nature of my industry)
hold myself and my son steady through a worldwide pandemic
and discover human design, aka the explanation behind my hand-waving / sad feeling…
You know me well enough by now to know that all of those 👆 are stories in and of themselves, and I’ll come back to them inevitably at some point. Today it’s all about that last one.
For all the inner work I’d done in the last decade, there was still something missing for me, until human design came along. It’s brought me so much in so many ways… this is just one little gem.
Because I could see now that all that time I’d been able to sense what was me, and what was him. I was describing our charts in the air as I waved my hands around…
… but more than that, I now had a way to see us both more clearly.
You see, what I was sensing was each of our defined centres (the coloured in shapes) the places where we feel consistent. Because where we have defined centres we don’t absorb other people’s energies… but guess what? In all the undefined (white) centres, we do. We take in those energies, amplify them and reflect them back out into the world. It’s uncomfortable sometimes. And sometimes it’s exciting. It can be addictive too… remind me to come back to that another time.
Having this pair of maps meant I could see exactly where I’d been taking in energies that weren’t mine. Or feeling empty, inconsistent or absent somehow.
It also meant that I stopped, right away, making that little circle with my left hand, and instead saw that I could make two big oval shapes next to each other. We’re both ALL of the chart, two entirely complete, wildly different and equally valuable humans.
I could see now that his defined solar plexus was the reason I could suddenly feel overwhelmed by emotions and out of control. And that his defined throat was putting me under pressure to speak, even though I wasn’t going to be heard. And then instead of feeling overshadowed by his G centre (yellow, sense of self and direction) and ego (the red triangle, willpower) I could see that those strong, consistent energies didn’t make him bigger or better than me.
Because there is no ‘better’ in human design. There’s just different. There’s 2 billion kinds of different in fact! Which is why it’s sooo good to dive into your design with an expert instead of the internet, someone who can help you see the nuances, support you to uncover the shadows and encourage you to lean into your unique brilliance. That expert is me by the way 😘
Maybe you want to know how he feels about all this? He started out pretty cynical to be honest (seriously, astrology??!) but I’ve won him around gently, because this stuff works. It opens the conversations, it explains why we get on so well, and why we don’t. It highlights the things we each bring to the party and honestly, it’s turned some wildly irritating tendencies into absolute gifts. Which is why when I work with clients, we often look at partner’s and children’s charts too!
Let me wrap up by asking you this… do you spend time around people who feel overwhelming, or “too much”, people who make you feel jittery, or keep you calm**, or people who feel very familiar even though you never met before?
If you’re nodding right now and you want to check out the shape of your charts, you can do that for free just here… plus you can read more about the centres here.
**fun fact: because I have just 3 (unconsciously) defined centres, my chart also explains why everyone finds me calming, and why I come away from most of those interactions feeling full of energy that’s not mine.
Press reply if you’re curious about how all this works and you have questions, I love to hear from you 🧡
Sending so much love,
Sarah xx
PS. Here are some of the ways I can support you:
➡️ Get full Permission To Be You right here… by downloading your personalised human design report (£27)
➡️ Join me on a 4 month fully supported coaching journey to answer the age-old questions “who am I? and what am I here to do?” (£555) (One hour Unpacks are also available)
➡️ Give the gift of Human Design to a friend or colleague… You can now purchase a Human Design unpack / reading for a friend. Gift vouchers are available just here (£111) and you get a lovely PDF voucher to share with your chosen giftee 🧡
Hey, I’m Sarah and I help heart-led business owners to discover who they are, make their own rules and increase their impact in the world.
I’m a qualified coach and certified human design guide, and my design brings nurturing and challenge to my client work; I’m definitely a catalyst for change!
To find out more about working together, book your free no-strings discovery call just here…