pause / paws

some thoughts on consistency, stopping, what-happened-next reflections & my Word of the Year

Hello you,

I’m thinking today about consistency, and accountability too. About how I was determined to write every single week, sometimes twice, and how I feel I need to explain when I don’t, wondering where this comes from. When we do this, who are we doing it for? I run my own business, I don’t have a boss. You don’t set your clock by my emails (thank goodness!) nor do you read all of them (or maybe you do - thank you). So who’s counting?

I think we all get to make our own consistency - the absolute clockwork of every day, every week, every month just doesn’t work for me - if you’re reading Seasonology you’ll know how I feel about shifting energies, working with what is, not what I could force if I had to.

Consistency, for me, is becoming about writing when I have the inspiration. Consistently taking the time when I’m lit up to write as much as I want to write, sometimes that’s early morning, forgetting to take hubby his coffee. Or late into the evening, frustrated at the inconvenience of having to eat dinner when it’s ready instead of when I am. And the more I do this, the more lit up I’m getting, exactly as a generator should be; it’s like I’ve got a dynamo revved up inside, powering my day.

Consistency, for me, isn’t about writing for the sake of it, just because it’s a Tuesday.

Summer, our 15 month old Cavapoochon

pause / paws (my Word of the Year)

At the start of 2023, I felt completely adrift; the idea of being lit up, finding any kind of flow, or even writing my letters to you, was laughable. Yes, it’s that time of year when I can’t help but look back and reflect over the year… you too, right?

Mostly it was because of our pup, or rather, my lack of resiliency to change when she arrived… ironically it was writing (secretly) that got me through the puppy blues and back out into some semblance of sanity. You can read my now-published self-therapy just here in the form of Summer’s blog.

My usual end-of-year routine is lots of time in my cosy office-room, with blankets, cats, felt-tip pens and plenty of journaling prompts as I look back over the previous year and think about the year ahead. I go back through my bullet journal and summarise each month - the highlights, lowlights and connections I made, as well as the what-happened-next’s…

Jul ‘22 - I spend a day with Kelly Neale getting clear on the strategy for my new podcast. It’s almost ready to launch when Covid hits me hard and I reset everything, bring Human Design into my business and, 18 months later, surprise even myself by soft-launching the podcast with the same name and a completely different focus. I even got it onto Spotify and Apple!

Dec ‘22 - I brought home our new puppy and regret the change of lifestyle almost immediately, spending the month in a fug of ‘what have I done?’ P is amazing and supports me brilliantly even though I don’t feel I deserve it. I go on to realise she really is a brilliant addition to our home and I wouldn’t be without her.

I started adding the what-happened-next when I realised we don’t know in the moment what will happen… I’ve met people for a coffee having no idea if our relationship would blossom or go absolutely nowhere. Same with clients, would they have just one session or still be in my world years later. I love looking back in my diary and noticing those moments that still could go either way… and adding to those little stories in my annual wrap up. It feels like a gentle magic to let these strands carry on weaving their way through my life, with their roots planted in time.

And after the looking back, a looking forward. What next? What am I calling in and what energy do I want to start the year with?

This is when I choose a Word of the Year. A word that focuses and inspires me, that becomes the theme of my year ahead. Previous words have included Flow, Evolve, Expansion, Playful… this years was Pause (also Paws, because 🐶). I was so very paused that I didn’t share it and I didn’t do my usual workbook for readers either…

But, I will be doing it this year! You’ll find it just here very soon… I promise!

All year I’ve been pausing when I needed it, a big change from the pushing on relentlessly that I can (and shouldn’t) do; in fact that’s what led to my burnout last year. Learning that, as a generator, I should be responding (not initiating) and only saying yes when my sacral has the energy, has been a game-changer this year. Because now I’m doing the right things for me, I do have the energy. And when I run out, I’m resting and playing instead of trying hard.

Plus I’ve been healing. Emotionally, hormonally and physically. It’s felt very indulgent, but so necessary, finding the right therapist to hold me, battling the GP for HRT and tripping over fascia release to deal with the leftover niggles of hip & knee operations (who knew fascia release was a thing; it’s amazing! if you’re in Lancashire hit me up for my contact, you won’t regret it)

On a lighter note, last week I took a week-long pause for hubby’s birthday, indulging him for a change on a trip to Edinburgh (what a beautiful city! and so much good food…) and reminded myself that no matter how much I love my work (and man, do I love my work!) I need to step away and recharge.

Back home we indulged the cats with a professional grooming; it’s a full time job keeping them in good shape plus they hate being brushed… they’re now sleek and fur-ball-free for winter.

Less enthusiastically I helped my son with some new year travel plans; this will be the first time he’s traveled independently. I’m secretly terrified and pretty sure I won’t sleep a wink whilst he’s away… but I’m putting on a brave face for him and showing my support by offering my excellent planning skills; he can’t see that air fares are doubling overnight while he & his mate get together to book tickets but end up binge-watching The Simpsons instead… maybe I’ll just go with them?

How do you feel about consistency? What does it mean to you?

I’d love to hear your thoughts…

With love

Sarah xx