on the discomfort of "yes"
and how I'm ok with swapping out fear for discomfort and growth, plus the inevitable and disconcerting Generator plateau
Hello you,
It’s been one hell of a year already and there’s still 10% of it still to go!
I’ve travelled my little heart out, been on retreat (a lot), made so many beautiful connections and almost wrote a book (I wrote a part of a book, that counts right?)
My expectation, coming home in mid-October from my last jaunt, was that my sky-high vibe would continue ALLL the way through to next spring. I’d be powering through my could-do list, writing, creating, sharing… bouncing along and enjoying all my Generator energy from dawn til dusk - yay!
Only, that didn’t happen.
I literally stopped. For weeks.
Hmm.
At first I thought it was jet lag. Understandable right? I’d been to Bali and it was a big time-shift. And two weeks before Bali I’d just travelled home from St Lucia, a shift in the other direction. Ooof.
After a week or so it was clear that it wasn’t jet lag.
You see, it’s not that I’d been busy, or where I’ve been. It’s WHAT I’ve been doing. And it’s mostly on the inside.
Pre-2024 I didn’t travel. I didn’t enjoy it, much preferring to be home. Plus I had a ton of travel anxiety, never quite expecting anyone to get home safely, whether that was from a long-haul flight, or a quick nip to the shops. Lockdown was a dream for me. My people stayed home, safe.
Ever since February however, when my sacral said YES to going on retreat in Byron Bay, I’ve struggled to find that fear anymore - yes I’ve looked for it, I’ve looked quite hard, it’s the damndest thing, but it’s nowhere to be found.
And this is something I didn’t expect when I went all-in on my own Human Design experiment two years ago. As someone with Sacral authority I expected to be saying “no” a lot more - you know, instead of saying “yes” to all the things that weren’t right for me, cheerio people-pleasing!
I did not, for one minute, expect to be saying “yes” to things that are actually pretty uncomfortable. I thought I was in for an easy ride. Ha!
But here it is, I either need to trust this feeling in my body, or go back to the old way of playing small and trying to figure everything out with logic (errr, not a chance!) so I’m having to get used to my body saying “all systems go!” while my mind is trying to catch up and slow me down, asking me to please remember how scared I am.
Only I’m not anymore. Losing the fear has been one of the biggest, most unexpected gifts of this HD journey.
So when I was asked to travel solo to St Lucia to scope out some retreat-based coaching work (and my sacral said “yes”) I went.
When I was asked to re-write a six week confidence program for a NW based charity (and my sacral said “yes”) I agreed.
And when I got an invite-only opportunity to retreat in Bali with my rockstar HD mentor for business and wealth coaching, my sacral didn’t hesitate and I booked.
But although there was no fear, all of those things were uncomfortable. I’m being asked to grow and stretch, to be ok with the discomfort, the wobbles, the nerves. It’s all a “yes” but it’s not all easy.
Let’s get back to “why did I just grind to a halt a few weeks ago?”
Generators (and MG’s) go through plateau periods. For beings with access to consistent energy (for the right things) it can be unnerving to suddenly find nothing in the tank. I see how this could easily be labelled as depression. There are very few “yes’s”. There is a lot of rest. It feels flat and weird.
And it’s completely normal.
I’m beyond grateful to understand this inevitable and disconcerting phase, now (having misunderstood and fought it for years…)
I can see how it’s just part of the growth, a time for rest and integration. For solidifying the new me, making her solid and ready for the next big strides forward.
And I’m almost enjoying it, in a funny way.
Seventy percent of us are Generator types (including MG’s), so maybe you are too? If not, you’ll know a Generator, perhaps you’ll share this with them and ask…
❓I wonder, do you recognise the plateau in your cycles of growth and change?
❓Do you lean in, or out when they happen?
❓Can you sit with both the discomfort of a challenging “yes” and the plateau-void of rest and “no”?
Tell me in the comments, or reply to meet me in my inbox. I love the conversations we have 🧡
I’m sending love, as always
Sarah xx
PS. here’s how I know I’m almost back from the plateau…
a/ I’m here!
b/ new things… ⬇️
➡️ Here’s a new thing that I have just been able to start this week. It’s not officially launched but you can take a sneak peak here…
… and if you DO get yourself a personalised HD report (£27) ahead of the launch (ie now) and you’d like to let me know what you think I would LOVE to hear from you!
➡️ Give the gift of Human Design!
You can now purchase a Human Design unpack / reading for a friend. Gift vouchers are available just here (£90) and you get a lovely PDF voucher to share with your chosen giftee 🧡
➡️ I almost forgot to tell you where to find my story. It’s just here in a book curated by Claire Walsh-Jones, called A Tapestry of Tremendous Tales. The Kindle version is £2.99, paperback is £10. It’s ended up being a healing story for my family and I still can’t read it without crying.
Hey, I’m Sarah and my mission is making human design simple and empowering women to be confident in their uniqueness. I’m a qualified coach and NLP master practitioner and a certified human design coach, blending all my learned skills with my natural ability to create change and growth for clients, 1-1 and in nurturing groups too.
Interested in discovering how we could work together and how I can give you full permission to be 100% you? ⬇️