on holding steady
the ups and downs of solopreneurship and how to ride the rollercoaster with at least a modicum of grace and ease
Hello you,
I don’t know about you, but I don’t like rollercoasters. I never have and maybe never will. And I’m ok with that, when they’re out in the real world, I just don’t go near them.
But sometimes they’re in my head and my heart. And they’re harder to avoid.
There was the one I went on when I was 15, with my first boyfriend Peter…
ohhhh!! I think he likes me!! … arggh he asked someone else out… yay! they broke up!…. uh he’s ignoring me… WOOHOO! he asked me out!! …. ahh this isn’t as much fun as I though it might be, oh well… thank goodness this roller coaster drifted to a stop…
And the one I went on when I was leaving my ‘proper job’ back in 2015…
I have to leave, this is making me ill… I can’t possibly leave, what will I do?… I can’t stay, but I’ll miss everyone so much if I go… I need some space…
Of course, during the years of single-mum-ing, followed by the leap into solopreneneur-ship, there have been many, many more.
The terrifying ups, the hurtling downs, the breathing-out bits where you coast to a stop and wonder what just happened.
You can probably imagine most of those rollercoasters… the comparison with the perfect mums, the potential new clients, the promised opportunities, the faltering collaborations.
The craving of stability.
The questioning… why on earth didn’t I choose the miniature train ride instead of this adrenaline fuelled adventure?!
Why would I actually choose the rollercoaster?!
The truth is, I couldn’t bear to be stuck on something that chugged along predictably. There is a big part of me that thrives on chaos. Not staying in chaos, but smoothing it out, finding the patterns, settling it all into order. And then doing it all again. I have a sneaking suspicion this is why I’ve always renovated each home I’ve lived in, and why I loved living on a building site for two years too!
But I also have a nervous system that needs nurturing. Spending too much time flung around a chaotic rollercoaster leads to a lot of fight-or-flight, too much cortisol and exhaustion.
This has been my biggest learning over the last few years.
Holding steady.
That’s what’s been on my mind recently…
Holding steady when my mind wants to stay on a gloomy chattering loop. Like the time a good friend just stopped being there for me and I had no idea why.
Holding steady when I don’t feel seen. Like the times when I’m sharing powerful workshops, but sign ups are low, or non-existent.
Holding steady when I’m rejected. Like the time an organisation said no to a really great proposal to support their team.
It’s been on my mind because I’ve started to notice a quiet space inside, a place of genuinely holding steady… not just thinking about it or wishing for it, but feeling it.
You might wonder how I found it?
What do I actually do to hold steady?
Just being me. Sounds too simple, but discovering who I am, vs who everyone else is, has been the most freeing, and grounding, experience. (you can do this too)
Breathing. In, all the way to the edges of me until I can feel the hum of oxygen in every cell, like a Ready-Brek glow. Out, all the way until I feel soft and empty, thought-less, spacious.
Compassion. For me. For them. The knowing that we are each doing our best in each moment. That we’re all different, with our own challenges and priorities.
And really each of these things found me. In turn, when I was ready. I’d like to say they were each thought-through and conscious decisions but honestly, this is just what’s evolved on this particular loop of the spiral.
Speaking of spirals…
if you’re feeling stuck in an endless loop, I wonder if you could re-imagine your journey as a spiral, an upward one. One where you go through similar experiences from time to time, but from a new viewpoint each time, with new learning. Recognising that each time you are growing, evolving, moving forward, even when it doesn’t quite feel like it.
Do you ever look back and see what habits you’ve formed, consciously or not? And how far you’ve come, upwards in the spiral, even when it feels like you’re going in circles? I hope you do. You deserve to recognise all the wonder, all the growth, all the beautiful being that you are.
I’m sending love, as always,
Sarah xx
Hey, I’m Sarah and my mission is making human design simple and empowering women to be confident in their uniqueness. I’m a qualified coach and NLP master practitioner and a certified human design coach, blending all my learned skills with my natural ability to create change and growth for clients, 1-1 and in nurturing groups too.
Interested in discovering how we could work together and how I can give you full permission to be 100% you? ⬇️
Clear and relatable.