on choosing your own festive adventure
treasure hunts, contracting and the whole lead up to Christmas, aka. it’s up to you whether you enjoy it or not, plus the choices I make each year and how I feel about it all (spoiler: I love it)
Hello you,
Christmas takes me by surprise most years, earlier than I expect somehow and yet not soon enough. As soon as the nights get shorter I find myself craving the space and peace of those few sparkly days tucked away at the end of my wall planner. I have a lot of favourite-times-of-the-year and this is definitely one of them.
It wasn’t always.
I used to let it take over. It became too expensive and no fun. Full of obligation, people-pleasing and exhaustion. I used to be one of those people who said “urgh, Christmas, don’t! There’s just so much to do / spend / organise, I hate it”
I didn’t realise I had a choice, until I realised I did.
I’d say it started to change the year I lost my first husband quite suddenly on December 3rd after just a handful of days in hospital. It was 13 years ago now. Obviously a lot of things changed that year, but Christmas was the first thing.
We had - my, my boy, my parents and my brother & sister in law - the simplest, calmest, most connected few times. I’d done no shopping, I wasn’t prepared and yet… we lacked nothing, aside from the obvious, the kind, gentle human missing from our home.
Before he left, I didn’t believe things could or would change. In many different ways. Afterwards I saw that everything could, and might indeed, change, whether I wanted it to or not. And I began to see too that I could change. I could rediscover what I wanted, just me, not me and him. I could go back to being the rebellious little rule-breaker I used to be.
Dear god, I was a rule-breaker. Except when it was incredibly important to follow the rules. Rules were always a thing for me, either defending them or challenging them, so long as it was one extreme or the other. I play with them in my head all the time, looking for reasoning, or loopholes, trying them on, wondering why. Ignoring them, observing them, intrigued.
There’s a fun part of the my human design chart that explains this perfectly, if you’re interested? Of course you are, you’re here right? Here we go… the Incarnation Cross on your chart is the bit that tells you the “job description of your aura” - it’s what you’re giving to the world, without realising, when you’re in alignment. Which, on the whole, most of us are before we get all conditioned by the world to be out of alignment.
Mine is called the Cross of Laws. In short it means I’m literally here to challenge the rules, to understand which ones we absolutely need to save us from anarchy, and which are outdated and unnecessary. It’s not an energy of sudden upheaval or revolution, it’s more about gentle evolution, of change at a pace that takes people along on the journey, using stories and upholding core values. It’s about sustainable change.
Why is it fun? Because it’s not something we DO. It’s just what we BE. And I can’t tell you how many people describe to me their impact on the world before knowing that they are actually designed to have that very impact. Not necessarily their job (although often it is) but their impact. I smile as I listen, with half an eye on their chart, blown away yet again by this crazy magic ✨
I choose simplicity…
I loved the simplicity that year. It stuck with me. I chose to keep hold of that simplicity. I started the process of designing my own Christmas rhythms.
That process evolved and spread until two years on, I decluttered my world entirely. It was literally Life Changing Magic and yet another nudge / reason to review the rules.
Why do we spend so much at Christmas? Why do we exchange presents of roughly equal value to receive something we don’t (always) love and will probably (guiltily) re-gift or donate within a year, or else keep, tying up valuable space and emotional energy? Why do we spend hours in traffic, in busy shops making draining decisions about these gifts? Why don’t we spend that time with those people, or alone resting and recharging, or outdoors breathing fresh air? And why don’t we have the conversation that says “I love you, and for that very reason, I’m not spending an unpleasant afternoon in the Trafford Centre buying you something you don’t want. Let’s hang out instead. Oh and if you loved me back, you wouldn’t buy me something I don’t need just because it’s Christmas.”
I choose contracting…
I realised that last one was the key to it all. Contracting. Because we’ve all been following these rules a long time, and (Cross of Laws) it’s important (for me at least) to take people along with me.
Contracting is not just boring business stuff. It’s nurturing, relationship-building stuff. It’s the depth and OK-ness to say what you need and what you’re willing to do or accept in return.
I choose contracting because it’s boundary-setting, energy-protecting and the opposite of unnamed obligation. It frees us all to be who we really are.
I choose ease…
As autumn turns to winter, I focus on rest. We are designed as humans, as creatures of this earth, to be slowing down right now. To be turning inwards and reflecting. Not to be using up sparse reserves of energy on dashing around, twinkling and sparkling with perfectly-wrapped everything and a perma-smile painted on. I choose reading and one-to-one time.
I choose wintering in winter. Imagine that. Here’s permission for you to do that too, if you need it 😘
And I choose treasure hunts…
No matter how often I talk about this, there is always someone who needs to hear how I do Christmas for my boy. If it’s not you, tell a friend.
I can’t remember how it started, but I know when. Eleven years ago when he was 8. He’s now 19 and we still do it, Christmas and birthdays too. Here goes…
I buy the one present he really wants (variously a new Xbox game, Lego set - yes, still, they just get bigger each year 😂 or whatever his obsession is that year, you get the idea…)
I spend a little time in the supermarket browsing for his favourite treats (crisps, sweets, comics, maybe a book, occasionally stationery, more recently cider, often tik-taks) I don’t spend much and it’s all things he will definitely eat, drink, use or read. I aim for 15 things in total. One year I got him a watermelon.
I wrap everything in brown paper (mostly saved from Amazon deliveries during the year) and then sharpie on a number from 1-15.
Crucially - ask me how I learned this 🤦♀️ - I make a list of what I bought and what number it is!
I hide everything around the house on Christmas Eve. I make the locations trickier to find the older he gets.
Again, I write all the locations on my list… because, well you know how it is after a glass of Buck’s fizz, that’s all I’m saying, and occasionally we need to do the ‘hotter or colder’ game, so it’s best if I have an idea where it is!
On Christmas day (or birthday) he chooses a number from the wee bag of numbers I made from wooden circles all those years ago, and goes to find the present.
If there’s an ‘big’ present I sneakily keep the number back until the end.
Any other presents he finds have to be left where he found them.
When he was younger we let him do 2 or 3 at a time, then we had a break while he played or read something new. Now we tend to stick at it until everything is found, but it still takes a couple of hours and is a brilliant way to spend time with him.
And every year, twice a year, when I ask “do you want your treasure hunt this year?” the answer is always “yes” - it’s become a treasured (no pun intended) new tradition and I can’t tell you how many other treasure hunts we’ve inspired along the way. For hubby’s 60th last year… guest what he asked for? Yep, a treasure hunt.
Now? I love Christmas. I choose simplicity, contracting and ease. And treasure hunts. I choose my own rules. I choose who I spend time with. I choose rest and lightness. And I hope you do too, especially the treasure hunts!
Do share your thoughts… what do you choose in the run up to our festival of winter? What rules do you uphold or break at Christmas? Any favourite traditions, new or old? Let me know in the comments or press reply to tell me all about it.
As always I’m sending love, and permission to be entirely you this December 🧡
Sarah xx
PS: All that said, if you ARE looking for that something special, for you or a friend, here’s my festive selection…
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Hey, I’m Sarah and my mission is helping fabulous women unlock their full potential, and be confident in their uniqueness, by making human design simple and accessible.
I’m a qualified coach and NLP master practitioner and a certified human design coach, blending all my learned skills with my natural ability to create change and growth for my incredible clients.
If you’re ready to unlock your potential, let’s chat…
Love this, thanks for sharing. Treasure hunts sound great!