how I built a house...
why I loved it, what I learned and some self-belief lessons from the journey
I asked you recently what you’d like me to write about.
You gifted me with so many ideas - thank you - and today I’m sharing the story of building my house, a project I threw myself into heart and soul between 2015 and 2020.
I was 14 and the brief in class was to design 5 houses for new development. The kind where the houses are named after trees and bought off-plan. It was, quite literally, right up my street. I wish I could remember the names of the houses - but I imagine it went like this… The Oaks, The Hawthorn, The Sycamore and so on…
It was something I was very good at, even planning that the upstairs and downstairs plumbing made sense (something that not even the best architects do, I’ve since found…)
I was 6 and I watched my parents redesign and rebuild the side of our semi-detached home in Macclesfield. They grafted day after day along with any essential trades-people men they brought in at the time, and the cement mixer was a constant feature of our back garden for some time, along with the soundtrack of their gently remembered stories of all their previous renovations.
I was 29, heavily pregnant and living in the front room while builders removed the back of our house and created the entirely new space I’d dreamed up 9 months earlier.
I was 24 and taking a sledgehammer to the wall between the lounge and the hall so we could enjoy more light and space - my vision was clear and my energy boundless at that age!
The stories are endless but they’re not really for today…
Today, I’m 48, and can’t recall a time when (re)designing of spaces wasn’t a huge part of my life. It’s in my blood, and my design*, you won’t be surprised to hear.
Today, I’ll tell you about the biggest of those adventures so far. About how I built a house, a whole new house - this one in fact 👇
Of course, you can already guess, I’ve watched every single episode of Grand Designs over the years - my training, I like to call it. No, I’m not an architect, or (officially) a project manager or interior designer, but I am a natural at spaces. I just know what works. And I've always wanted to build a house!
Back in 2015, newly ‘together with’ to my now-husband, we traveled an hour up the M6 to enjoy a weekend away in the Ribble Valley - if you don’t know it, it’s a beautiful green AONB in the north west of England. We stayed in a picturesque hotel and wandered, all loved up, around the local town. Naturally I peeked in the estate agents windows as we passed (who doesn’t?) and very quickly found myself searching for a “project”.
There were very few. Barns were already converted. Houses were recently renovated. Nothing appealed. Our wandering turned into striding hurriedly around as the unplanned-hunt escalated.
Until the very last agent… we were walking out of the door, a little flat after our failed attempt. And he called after us “wait, this just came on the market last week”.
It didn’t look much but it came with 15 acres of land (oh, hello new glamping-site side-hustle, chickens, turkeys, alpacas…) and planning permission to replace the 1970’s bungalow with a new home.
A few month later we moved in, and the rest, as they say, is history. Except, that’s the story you’re here for, right? So let me fill you in…
Four days after we arrived in our temporary new home I met with an architect to share my brief. I started with “I’m having curtains throughout” having heard a horror story about a house with steels in all the wrong places and no sensible way of hanging curtains anywhere - I don’t know about you, but I love fabrics, texture, temperature control… and my privacy thank you very much.
After that rocky start - ohhh, he wasn’t happy about the window-treatment plan one bit - we built a great relationship and worked together to create, reject, refine and eventually agree on the final plans. I involved the local council at all stages, flirting outrageously and letting them “guide” me to the exact place I wanted to go… bless them, they definitely didn’t see me coming! All of that took two years, including a few months where all my focus was on planning a rather fabulous wedding party on our soon-to-be building site.
Of course, I then had to find the right people to bring the dream to life. I’d be working alongside the builder for at least a year (I laugh at myself now, thinking it might be just a year!) and so I chose the team based entirely on gut feel. Did we get along? Would we listen to each other? Respect each other? When I met the builder who didn’t let me finish a single sentence it was a simple decision. No. When I met the thoughtful guy who took his time to learn about us and the job, it was easy. And, spoiler, we genuinely got along for two full years.
Because, yes it took 2 full years. Start to finish. Which by the way was a few days before 20th March 2020, and I don’t need to tell you what happened on that day. Phew.
But what you really want to know is, how was it? What did we learn? What went wrong? Would I do it again? (YES!)
It was an incredible experience.
But I’ll tell you why - I chose for it to be incredible. You hear so many stories of folk who build houses and would never do it again. I didn’t want that, I know I’d want to build again. And even as I look back, I’m so grateful for the me who made that choice. You see, if you’ve been reading along, you’ll know I lived with uncertainty and self-doubt about my work for many years, but never for a moment did I question that I could build a house. I had never doubted myself when it came to creating spaces, ever.
So, I set the intention that we would enjoy this build, and so would the team. And if we weren’t… we’d step back, figure out why, and change something.
Of course things went wrong!
There was the time that subcontractors installed the basement tanking and despite the brief being “make it watertight” there were holes you could literally fit your hand through…
And the day the roof lights were being installed by a specialist crane driven up specially from Norfolk. Only they didn’t fit - a simple mix-up between the structural engineers and the builder. The crane driver asked me, when I quietly took him a brew, why I wasn’t shouting. I asked him “if I shout, will it make the glass fit?” He chuckled and we enjoyed our tea whilst watching the drama at a distance - there was, of course, a simple answer that didn’t require the crane driver to make another 340 mile round trip.
I’ll never forget the late summer afternoon we discovered the basement was flooded after a surprise storm (despite all our efforts to repel water) ruining thousands of pounds worth of new carpets and tech… But it wasn’t the incompetent tankers that were to blame, this time it was yet another subcontractor who’d wired up a pump upside down… unbelievably the guy who “fixed” it missed the real problem until it flooded again two months later…
… I could go on but you get the idea. Things went wrong. In all honesty though, my worst fear was always that someone would be seriously hurt, or worse, on site, and when I compared any glitches to that worst-case scenario…?
But also - and yes this surprised me - I quickly built the pattern in my mind I could handle anything the build threw at me. I discovered that each ‘fail’ led to something better happening. Like the time our fabulous and painstakingly chosen bedroom carpet “was no longer available” (I cried) but when we returned to the store we found the actually perfect carpet to replace it.
Also, a lot of things went right! I chose everyone on the team by gut feel, I project managed the whole thing in partnership with my builder, and I got to be on site every day, with chalk in hand, puzzling over challenges and designing solutions on the go. Like the time I had to figure out how to get waste water from upstairs to downstairs - enter some very creative window seating and kitchen bulkheads! Or the time I had to make two immovable walls meet in a creative way (now my hands-down favourite part of the house)
Now, alongside this two year adventure, I was building a new career in parallel with my new home, training to be a life-coach and (you can’t help it if you take this path) re-wiring my brain day by day. I was learning just how little self-belief I’d had in my previous job. Comparing that to the way I felt on site. Releasing the past hurts and healing myself while I nurtured our home and garden into being. I realised how much of my self-doubt had come from working in a place where I didn’t fit anymore.
Yet I belonged here. On the building site, and in my new-found work.
Building a house has been such an adventure. I’ll forever be grateful for the experience, the learning, the gift of this home. And the best bit?
The best bit is how much we’ve been able to share our space with friends and family, and we’re always inundated with offers to house-sit when we go away! Oh and it’s been the perfect space for clients too, I’ve hosted a lot of spacious workshops and retreat days here.
So you might imagine this is a forever home. You’d be wrong. I always intended that we’d enjoy it for a few years and then move onto something new**.
It’s time for something new.
I know, because my tarot reader told me, that my ‘new’ is around the corner. I’m excited, a little scared, sad, proud and a hundred other things about moving. I can’t wait, and I don’t want to let go. I don’t know what’s next and in some ways I do.
And you know, don’t you, that I’ll keep sharing the journey with you!
I know you’ll be watching this space…
Sending so much love
Sarah xx
*PS. The human design geekery bit… in my design I have two active channels. The themes of my channels are ‘nurturing’ (27-50) and ‘mutating chaos into order’ (3-60). Is it any wonder I’ve always created safe, calm spaces? Which includes, apparently, me. Friends and clients tell me I’m a safe, calm space. I love that.
And you know, right, that if you’d like to explore your design, I’m right here for that.
Most of my clients have an idea of their charts, and have usually had a reading or two, found it doesn’t quite make sense and come to me to find out what it really means for them. I’m very good at helping people shift from being stuck in the theory to bringing it to life! If that sounds like what you need, you could book a free call to find out more and see if we have a good energy match.
PPS: The next owner of this home is out there somewhere, if it’s you, email me hey?
Hey, I’m Sarah, 4/6 Sacral Generator with the Cross of Laws. If you’re in my world, you’re probably ready to ask yourself “what rules am I ready to break?”
Summer is a Cavapoochon Reflector and is always asking “what can I eat next?”
Do say hi and tell us more about you in the comments, or hit reply to email us 🧡