10 ways I built my self-belief
on not always being ‘like this’ and how I shifted from self-doubt to reasonably confident, most of the time
Hello you,
It turns out that a great conversation starter when you meet someone new whilst networking is to ask “what got you into this work?”
I’ve usually just said something like “I’m a confidence coach” (I used to say self-belief but it turns out what people think they want is confidence - I actually deliver self-belief because it’s way more powerful, but that’s another story) and I look like I’m confident, so I totally see why people are intrigued how I started on this journey.
And I tell them, “if you’d met me 15 years ago you wouldn’t recognise me. Back then I didn’t even know that self-belief was even a thing. Or self-doubt. I just thought it was just me being a bit rubbish and incapable of ‘being like other people’ (by which I meant confident of course), so my career was a hot mess, I had no idea how to change it or what I was any good at, I suffered with depression, anxiety and panic attacks… yeah, I was very different”.
And they can see it, the difference in what I describe to who I am now (mostly, we all have wobbles right?)
Last week I got a great follow up question. I actually sat down later that day to answer it properly… it went a bit like this…
“If you weren’t always like this, what did you actually do to build your self-belief?”
Here’s all the things I could think of…
started working with a coach, and had to swallow the bitter pill that, yes, I would have to take responsibility instead of blaming everyone else for my lack of progress - oooof
got really honest about my unhelpful beliefs
trained as a coach and designed ways to test new and more helpful beliefs (there was one about the TV remote, I can’t remember why!) and then importantly, over time, let the new beliefs take over as they gained momentum
got my colours done, so I knew what to wear that made me feel great (and what colours to wear when I want to go under the radar, yes I do that too!) you’ll maybe spot them in my photos, but it turned out that bright, warm and light colours are best for me - incredible given that I used to live in navy and grey. And I’m not someone who particularly bothers about image, but I can’t tell you what a shift this was!
trained in NLP (neuro-linguistic-programming) and made a conscious decision to notice all the positives about myself AND be really gentle when I got anything ‘wrong’ or ‘failed’… and if I do get sucked into a dark moment of “ohhh I’m useless, blah blah blah” I recognise it for what it is, a blip of tiredness, the vulnerability of growth or an inevitable plateau where the lack of growth feels like slipping back…
did some inner child work
learned about our inner hormonal cycles, the ones that mirror nature’s yearly cycles; leaning into the deep rest of winter (the period), the lifting of spring, the exuberance of summer and the self-doubt of autumn (PMT) - the game-changer was realising that day 19 of my cycle almost always threw me into a whirl of doom and gloom, tantrums and tears. Being able to say “ahhh day 19 I see you!” has been a gift.
worked with a therapist to clear some old unhelpful energies
learned all about my human design, got super specific about shadows, reconditioning and who I’m actually here to be, building the biggest self-trust I’ve ever known - making this my most powerful tool for clients too; I went on to train in human design in 2022 and have been studying ever since, it never ceases to amaze me how healing that funny complex chart can be.
And of course…
shared my journey a lot, telling myself it was to help others but what it’s really done is to embed everything I’ve done, and make it increasingly real & believable for me.
I wonder…
💫 do you ever look back and reflect on your journey to here?
💫 what turning points can you spot so far?
💫 what might be next, can you sense a new direction ahead?
Although, no pressure on that, I’ve learned that my journey will always be one of ‘following the breadcrumbs’ - as a Generator type* that’s the only way to know I’ll be on the right path - we make up 70% of the population and planning just isn’t a thing for us, who knew?!
One thing I do know, is that I’m currently studying the Akashic records, so that I can bring that into my client work - I have no idea what this will look like (sacral just said yes, she doesn’t give details!), but I am looking for practice clients for 1-2 sessions each - these sessions won’t be free (they have real value!) but they will be at a reduced rate. DM or email me if you’re interested in joining me in this adventure!
With love
Sarah xx
*I’d love to talk human design more with you.
Do join me for an Unpack where I read your chart and give you some real-world, down to earth guidance in living your most aligned life 💫
Or if you’d prefer to properly embed this beautiful work, we can hang out for three months and explore the depths, gifts and nuance of who you really are - but you probably want to book a call and make sure we’re a good fit first - you can book our free chat here.
S xx